people call kevin from home alone a homicidal little maniac but to be fair if i was 8 and two grown men were following me down the block to my house id probably try to kill them too
“it’s so fucking over” yeah dude it’s 11pm it’s the end of the day it’s time for you to go to bed. and tomorrow you’ll be so fucking back because you’ll be awake. go tuck yourself in dude you’ll be ok
my main goal in life is genuinely just to have a good day
five year plan? have a good day. plans this weekend? have a good day. why i’m doing what i’m doing? bc i wanna have a good day. it is all about having a good day. nothing’s as precious as the present moment. neither the past nor the future. therefore i will make sure to spend it having a good day
my gf just ripped some ungodly ass that had my eyes watering i mean absolutely noxious it was so bad i made her leave the bedroom until she was done and i opened the window and shoved my head out so i didn’t throw up breathing in the tainted air of our once peaceful bedroom.
anyways once it dissipated and i got back into bed she walked back in and looked me in the eyes and said “sorry for farty rocking 🥺”
going to the punk show and everyone is mad at me for wearing pre-pissed jeans “he didn’t even piss them himself” they say “he bought them that way” and they all think I am the biggest poser of the night
reddit is dying twitter is dying tumblr is next as people move over here in response and the corporate side of the company starts drooling at the prospect of EVEN MORE MONEY so they make staff change the website to be shittier and more like the dying websites. whats next? fireside gathering at my house where we pass the posting stick around that indicates youre allowed to make a post with words that come out of your mouth
